Are Men Really Clueless?

We've heard all the alibis before: “She was giving me signs.” “I'm just a man.” “She deserved it.” And we've gotten tired of hearing them over and over.

Women employee abuse, oftentimes sexual in nature, is undoubtedly and unfortunately alive in many offices. It seems that wherever there is a woman, there is the big possibility of her being harassed, in and out of the workplace. But it does hurt to know that it is where people are supposed to be smart, logical and civilized that she experiences such ordeals.

Not to blame it all on the men (there are instances that women, too, harass other women and/or even men), but the fact remains that it is often them who perpetrate sexual harassment. And the annoying thing is, they often believe what they themselves say: “She wants me.”

The question now is WHY? A study may have the answer. Or at least some of it. Researcher Coreen Farris of Indiana University's Department of Psychological and Brain Sciences did a study that may give us a clue, and that clue was that men are such clueless creatures when it comes to women and body language. That is why even in the smart, logical and civilized world called The Office, women employee abuseof the sexual nature occurs.

The study, Perceptual Mechanisms That Characterize Gender Differences in Decoding Women's Sexual Intent, published in the journal Psychological Science (April 2008) found that men have trouble distinguishing friendliness from come-hitherness. Also, that “it goes both ways for guys – they mistake females' sexual signals as friendly ones. The researchers suggest guys have trouble noticing and interpreting the subtleties of non-verbal cues, in either direction.”

To say that men are clueless is an exaggeration and not the point nor overall conclusion of the study. But it does reflect a lot of the men we've known, men who don't understand – or refuse to – what constitutes sexual harassment.

One post in Time.com, Ladies, lead not your male colleagues astray, writer Lisa Cullen suggests rather cheekily , “Don't look at him, don't talk to him, and for the love of Pete cut out the smiling.” This means that since men are clueless, it is up to the women to avoid being misinterpreted.

In a way, it is good advice. If the men in your workplace tend to see women's friendly gestures and attires as come-ons, do something about it. Wear more conservative clothes, don't be too friendly, the works. It is one way to save yourself from unwanted attention.

YET, this does not make harassers not or less guilty.

Are they really clueless about women's body language? Maybe. But don't they know proper behavior especially in an office setting? They should. They're supposed to be mature people.

Ignorance may be bliss at times, but it does not work this. You simply can't feign it.

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